“If you do not run your subconscious mind yourself, someone else will run it for you.” Florence Scovel Shinn

             We must understand ourselves if we hope to understand and connect with others. The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship. Those who are self-aware not only help themselves to opportunity; they also help those in their influence discover their own strengths and empower them to be who they should be. We must face what is within us and look inwardly if we ever hope to see the truth about the world around us.  

             Intrinsic awareness is the knowledge and awareness of your own mind, personality, and spirituality. This is made up of your soul and spirit. The soul is our mind, our emotions, and our will. It is who we are as human beings. The spirit is our core. Our spirit is what allows us a deeper connection with God. Without our spirit connected with God, we are not complete. We may be fully human physically, but our purpose is disconnected. This will cause internal turmoil and thus stunt our ability to be as aware as we can be. In short, we are a spirit being that has a soul, which again is our mind, will, and emotions. Both wrapped in, throughout, and around a fleshly body.

             Some of us get thrashed awake by the harshness of the world. We suffer greatly, be it self-inflicted or from the world, but we finally do something about it. We learn the hard way about the importance of being and remaining aware. Sadly, most people just keep on sleeping, bumping against the cold, hard walls of their foggy lives again and again. Sleeping through their youth, through their careers, acting as drones, falling in what they think is love, and breeding even more sleepy drones, then eventually die. Never once waking up. Simultaneously impressive just as it is boring. There they are. Sleepwalking. Foolishly unaware of the reality that surrounds them. Never occurred to them in their short stints of lucidness that there is a way out of the Matrix. A better way through this gift of life. 

             Fortunately, it doesn't have to involve the scrapes and bruises you get when tumbling around with life. That's up to you and how stubborn you are. If you're anything like me, I hope you learn and avoid the wounds I received. Through the cuts and scrapes provided by my blindness to reality and downright stupid youthfulness, I realized one of my favorite movie franchises, The Matrix, had a point. There is indeed a way to unplug from the matrix: The way is to listen. Listening does not involve agreeing or disagreeing with what I'm saying or what anyone else is saying. That doesn't matter at all. What does matter is truth. And our ability to argue has not a single thing to do with truth. What is important is our willingness to open ourselves and discover something new to us that was always available. We just didn't see it because we remained sleepwalking.

             We are all surrounded by amazing opportunities, joy, happiness, and love. But yet we are broke, bored, depressed, and feeling hopeless. Why though? If there is all this wonder and resources about. Why are people just drifting through life like dead fish being pulled downstream? Most people are starving of thirst even though life is abundant with water.

             It reminds me of a survival story about the need for awareness and preparedness I read in an old book. A family was on a boat with no more power, no fuel to continue sailing, and no way to call for help. They weren't prepared. I don’t know much about the ocean, but what I do know about life is you have to prepare for the worst. 

The ocean is no different in its requirement that we be prepared and is much less forgiving of our mistakes. Worst of all, they ran out of water and began to die of thirst. By the time a missing persons case was opened and a rescue team was sent to find them, when the team finally reached the boat, only the son and daughter of this family had survived. The two children were extremely dehydrated and on the brink of death. The rescue crew was baffled at this scene. Wondering why the family had suffered so much when this could have been avoided. The water the boat was floating on was fresh water, pumped out by the river with such force that, at some points, it reached the ocean; the water was acceptable to drink once filtered.  

             They had fresh water right there. Literally right under their feet. All they had to do was fetch it. Instead, this lack of preparedness and lack of knowledge of the area destroyed this family.

             The most difficult thing to do in the world is to listen, to open our eyes. But we don't want to listen; we don't want to see. We like the comfort of the dark ignorance of our lives. If we don't know the scary facts or uncomfortable truths, they can't hurt us, right? 

Just because you don't know a law doesn't mean you're absolved of it. Just because you never heard the truth does not mean your preferred ideals become true. Truth doesn't require your awareness of it, your compliance with it, or your acceptance of it. Truth is merely here. Like gravity, you can't just turn it off like it is just an optional game mechanic and make the apple float back up to the tree.

             The reason for all this sleepwalking drudgery: Maybe they/we are brainwashed into accepting mediocrity? Maybe they're hypnotized by the slow, comfortable drift of their lives, sleepwalking right through it. It's like a wizard casting a spell on them. Making them see fog and shadows rather than what's actually all around and right in front of their closed, sleepy eyes.

             In order for you to run out of your sleepwalk, there is one thing, one requirement. You opening yourself to learn something new and continue to do so. Your ability to shake yourself into reality and become more aware is proportional to how much of the truth you can take without running back to your comfortable drifting habits and life. It takes courage to change, to grow, to reveal your inner man or woman to yourself. It takes courage to know yourself.

             We have to be willing to unlearn and challenge the institutions and belief systems that upheld the falsehoods in our lives that turned us into spiritually and emotionally stunted, sleepy drones. We must have a willingness to listen. I hope you are reading along to discover something new. Not to confirm what you are already thinking. That is not listening. This is the hard part for people. We don't want to learn the new things that is needed to change. Change is scary and uncomfortable because it forces us to be confronted by the truth. And we hate it. Our flesh violently recoils at the truth. We wish we could control it ourselves to fit into our little happy lives. 

Remember this: truth doesn't care if you believe in it or not. It has hard squared edges, and pointy spikes all around it. While lies and untruths have a plasticity like clay and can be squished into any idea you can conjure up to fit your paradigm. The truth does not. Truth is constant and unmalleable.  

             Faith is openness to the exploration of truth. No matter the outcome, the consequence, wherever it leads us. That is faith. Our belief systems give us a lot of comfort and security. I challenge you to get uncomfortable and dive into the blissful insecurity that is faith. The willingness to follow the unpathed trail of faith, wherever it may lead, to be open and listen.

             Be open and listen, full of willing faith. Not gullibleness though. Don't just blindly drink in what some book, preacher, or what the speaker is saying. You must challenge everything from a position of openness and inspection. Take the whole of what you are experiencing and put the words of so self-proclaimed truth through the fire, the grinding, the cutting, and sanding. When you do that, you are listening, learning, and sharpening your awareness. If it comes out unscathed. You have the answer. Remember, truth doesn't care what you think about it. It's still true no matter how hard you wish it not to be. It will be scary at first and extremely uncomfortable. Which is why many people choose to remain asleep.

             In regard to faith and spirituality. To me, religion seems to be a good definition of unawareness. Religion places worship and rules above love and awareness of others. Religion says a lot of times for us to merely worship and pray, and that will be enough. But even those unable to love worship and at least know of the Lord. Worship is indeed good and holy. But what I know about God, Jesus, the Truth, is that he called us to love. To love ourselves, our neighbors, and to love and trust in him. Yet we place more importance on our holidays and the Sabbath than on fellowshipping and showing love to our fellow humans. Human beings are so much more important than rules and religion. Maybe the Truth of the universe wants us to wake up. To wake up and choose love. To wake up and practice self-observation. Choosing to be aware of your thoughts, your feelings, your words, your actions, what your motives are. Choose love and awareness. For an unaware life is not worth living. It is so mechanical to live unaware. Leaving only room for fixed ideas and rigid ruts. People might as well be trees or rocks. Serving no real purpose other than just existing

             A lot of people dream of changing the world, their communities, and their families. They want to change the world into the image they think it should be. But when that happens, awareness goes out the window. Understanding took an abrupt halt at that moment.

             Have you considered that you may need to change before you poison the world with your conquest? Have you considered that you might be the problem that is plaguing your life? How about mastering yourself first? Understand who you are, what you believe, and what the truth is.

             How in the world do you do that? You do that through listening. Through observation. No judgment or inquisition. Just observe because once you start judging, you can no longer understand. Once you start judging, you can only place labels, and we all know that nobody is that two-dimensional to deserve a label. We are not just in 3D. We are in 4D. Too complex of creatures for titles.

             Simply observe and study life without trying to adjust or change what you see. Because once you start on your agenda to change the world, you can no longer continue to understand it. The world being an ever-changing system, once you stop observing, you will be stuck in your own way.

             Be a scientist and observe for the sake of watching and understanding. Have no aim of conquest or changing what you see. Once you develop the posture of a student, you just might experience something truly great. A miracle even, some might say. You will experience change within yourself. It will happen. If done correctly, it will seem effortless. Like Peter Parker getting bitten by the spider and becoming Spider-Man, you will "be bitten" by the awareness bug. You won't have to bring about change. Rather, change will be brought about in you through your attitude as a student who seeks to understand the truth.

             So many of us understand so much about so many subjects. You can count so well. You got an A in college calculus; you know political science or economics and have powerful thoughts on every debate. You probably can recite the whole bible front to back and quote scripture like it's a contest. A lot of you probably know every stat, every name, and every little detail about your precious sports team. You're so smart. Yet you keep asking a simple question. Who am I? What is this gnawing thing that I'm feeling inside me? Who are you?

             I'm stressing self-observation. You are reading my words and listening to them with the voice inside your head. But are you observant of other sounds besides what I'm creating within you as you read? Are you aware of your reactions to what I say, or how you're feeling as you read along? If you are not, then that creates a problem that could lead you to drift along with any idea thrown at you. Being influenced by forces within and outside yourself that leave no room for your awareness.

             Even if you do recognize your reaction to what's being said to you from myself and everyone else, and everything else that is speaking to you, can you simultaneously be aware of where that reaction is actually coming from? Why do you feel the way you do? Are they your own individual raw feelings, or are they feelings someone else has influenced you to have? Most of our reactions stem from the conditioning we have received from those who have influenced us. Allowing them to live inside us through their persuasion or manipulation.

             We all have strong feelings for just about every topic. Be it political, religious, money, government systems, environment, or even topics of science. But ask yourself this. Why do you feel strongly about that subject? And while you're at it, ask another question. Who is living within you? Is it really you who believes the thoughts in your head? Or is it your mom and dad who live in you, your teachers who live in you, or your friends and spouse who live in you? Have you ever had a genuine and unique thought of your own?

             I know that can sound a bit condescending. Of course, you have had thoughts of your own. I just want you to start questioning everything and taking the necessary steps to become aware. As the Good Book says, and I’m purposefully paraphrasing here, take every thought captive and examine it against the truth. If it holds up or if it doesn't, then you have your answer.

             Self-observance means watching. Observe what is going on in you and around you as if you were looking at someone else.

             Let's dive deeper into self-observance and strip down to the "I" within us. We are practicing self-observance right now. Beginning to study all there is to know about ourselves. But pay attention here. This is so fascinating! You have the "I" observing "me" when you do this. No other creature that we know of can do that. That is what makes humanity so special and powerful. Animals are aware of things as we are, as I mentioned earlier. Most of the time, they are better at it than we are. This is the basis of conscious awareness. Awareness, in its simplest form, is the understanding of information gathered through your senses about the environment. The next two steps of awareness that animals don't have, and that separate us from them, are the awareness of thought and the awareness of the thinker.

             The awareness of thought is the 'me" part. Being aware of what you think and feel. But then we realize we are not our thoughts. Our thoughts come and go, just like the cells in our body. What do the scientists say? Every seven years, they tell us that our bodies officially have all-new cells. But yet we remain ourselves. So therefore, we are not entirely our bodies or our thoughts. Then what are we? Who am I?  We keep asking ourselves.

             That is where the thinker's awareness comes in. I feel that we, as humans, are really looking for this person. The thinker. Understanding ourselves truly. The "I" within us. Can the "I" know itself? I love this question. Like asking if a knife can cut itself? Or can a fire burn itself? Fun questions indeed.

             We realize that we are not just our body, and we are not merely our thoughts. “I" is something more, something much deeper. It can't be our beliefs. People change their political affiliations and religious beliefs all the time. It's not our careers. People change their jobs and hobbies all the time. It's not the labels we put on ourselves and others, even though we act and react as if they were. Those all actually belong to the "me" part of awareness. Our thoughts. Our thoughts can and do change all the time, sometimes at a whim. But the "I" doesn't change. The observer does not change. The superpower humans have over every other creature is not only the ability to examine our thoughts, but also the ability to step out of them. Out of “me" and observe it. And not only observe "me" but also observe the observer, "I".

             As you watch yourself, the “me,” with no judgment and no agenda but only to understand, you will begin to change. You will begin to separate yourself from your thoughts and beliefs and see yourself as apart from them. Differentiating your soul from your spirit. The “I” of you is your spirit, while your soul is your mind, will, and emotions.